Diana Is Officially No More

“OFFICIAL DIANA REPORT SHOCK,” advertises the Mirror’s front page. “BUGGED on night she died.”

The result of the Scotland Yard inquiry into the apparent death of Diana has found “NO murder, NO cover up and NO conspiracy”.

Or course, many expected this, it serving to further their own beliefs that Diana was murdered by a middle-aged woman who smelled of wet horse and tampon. Or the butler.

All is nonsense. This much we now know for certain.

So we can move on. Diana can be allowed to rest in peace, or live out her days on the fabled Sixth Floor of London’s Harvey Nichols department store.

But first let us learn more of that bugging operation. And it’s reached the attention of the Express, for whom conspiracy appears as truth.

“The US spy dossier on Diana’s last movements,” says the headline. Readers learn that Henri Paul, Diana’s driver on the day of that accident, was in the employ of the French secret service.

And, what is more, American agents were listening into Diana’s telephone conversations as she stayed at Paris’s Ritz Hotel.

But why? What could they have hoped to learn from the woman? A call to room service for laxatives? A pet name for Dodi Fayed, her then boyfriend, something like Squidy? Her rendition of Duran Duran’s seminal hit Girls On Film?

Whatever the dossier contains the belief is that the Express, with the assistance of Mohamed Al Fayed, will not rest until each of its “hundreds” of pages comp has been studied.

The truth is out, but questions remain. What will the Express do now Diana is officially dead? Can you take two bottles into the shower?

And was it all just a cry for help?

Posted: 11th, December 2006 | In: Royal Family Comment | TrackBack | Permalink