A Frost Reception

KATE Moss looks across the table at Ffiona’s restaurant in London.

She eyes Alex Zane. She wants to have him for dinner, to eat him alive. He’s the hapless lad who once dated Kate’s mate Sadie Frost.

Moss hitches up her trousers to her nipples and, as the Mirror says, enacts a passable impression of Simon Cowell. She is putting Zane under the spotlight. She wants to know if he is good enough to date her pal and join her gang.

Moss is joined by ex-Atomic Kitten Jenny Frost, acting as Sharon Osbourne and Pete Doherty playing the part of pin-headed pop impresario Louis Walsh.

All three – Cowell, Osbourne, Walsh – appear as judges in the dire TV talent show The X Factor. And mindful of this, the Star tells us more of “The EX Factor”.

“It was an incredible gathering,” says a diner observing the tableau. “Kate and her panel were sitting at one end of the table and Alex and Sadie were at the other.”

The source continues: “Alex could hardly finish a mouthful before they lined up the next question to see if he was suitable for their celebrity clique.”

Had he taken drugs? Had he ever been hideously overpaid? Had he been to rehab? How many times? Had he been arrested? Again, how many times? Had he slept with Jude Law?

Things seemed to be going well. The source tells us that Katie giggled at Zane’s answers and was flirting with him. It also says that for the duration of this trial by terrine, Doherty remained in a car outside.

And at once we realise Zane’s big mistake – to be truly in with the in crowd he should not have bothered to turn up at all.

Something Zane may only have belatedly realised – he has now separated from Frost…

Posted: 15th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink