The Wannabe Beckhams
VICTORIA Beckham “opens with the pure fresh notes of bergamot and rose petals”.
In the face of much evidence to the contrary, Her Poshness can hit top notes, middle notes and low notes of “sensual orange blossom" leading to "a seductive base of voluptuous vanilla, rich sandalwood and an elegant layer of musk”. Can the same be said of Pavarotti or Emma Bunton?
If only Victoria sang as she smelled, she would be a cornucopia of musical nourishment, her range extending beyond the shelves of chemists and department stores – where her perfume Intimately Her is on sale – and wafting on a gossamer web of sensual delights to the Royal Opera House.
Those who want to smell like Victoria’s intimate parts can buy her perfume. Just as they can buy the scent produced by her husband David Beckham. The unmistakably "intense freshness and sparkle of bergamot, tangy grapefruit zest and zingy cardomom” giving way to “a virile blend of nutmeg and star anise” before “finishing down with warm sensual undertones of sandalwood, patchouli and amber is the heady mix of energy, vibrancy, comfort and warmth” that enlivens and invigorates many football grounds.
And David is as popular as ever. While Victoria’s scent slips to Number 2 in the high street perfume charts, being pipped to the top spot by Kylie Minogue’s Darling fragrance, the Sun reports that Dave is reaching for the stars. He has just had his body insured for £10million. This is, as the Sun tells us, the largest personal policy in sport history, exceeding the insurance policy for Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho’s stubble, boxing promoter Don King’s hair and England cricketers’ butter fingers.
It is a lot of money. And, as the paper notes, "only superstars like Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez have deals that come close to the ex-England skipper’s".
Becks has arrived. And he had not come alone. As the Star reports, Victoria has scored a role in Tom Cruise’s latest film. Entitled The Thetan, the film is based on Cruise’s Scientology belief. In it, Victoria will play the wife of a Thetan leader.
As a source tells the paper: "Victoria is really hoping to make a go of it in Hollywood. This could be the perfect start for her with good pal Tom Cruise in charge."
Indeed. What better way to make a name for yourself than by playing a part in a film produced by the man who has been dropped by his studio in a film about a Scientology, this year’s Kabbalah.
You can almost smell it from here…
Posted: 18th, December 2006 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
