Coleen McLoughlin’s Footballers’ Wives Documentary
COLEEN McLoughlin wants to tell you something.
“Tell someone you go out with a Premiership footballer and a lot of people immediately draw conclusions about the type of girl you are,” says the whale-voiced Wag to Wayne Rooney’s footballer.
Coleen goes on: “It’s all about the money, they say. It’s about designer labels and jewellery, flash cars and champagne. It’s about fame.” Coleen concludes that “TV’s Footballer’s Wives has a lot to answer for”.
But surely at the heart of every stereotype lies a kernel of truth? While we agree with Coleen that not all footballer’s Wags are called Chardonnay or Cristal – we know of a Cheryl, a Coleen and a Victoria – Footballers’ Wives just lampooned the passion for material goods and fame.
And when we learn that Coleen and her footballer used to watch the show when it was on we fear that Coleen misunderstood and saw it as documentary, a how to guide to Wagdom.
But that was not all Coleen saw. She recalls the time when aged 16, she and Wayne were on their way out. They asked Wayne’s mum to record the hit show. She did. And when Coleen and Wayne returned they took up the pads and pencils, pressed play and got down to some hard study.
And then something still harder popped up as the show ended and a porn video grunted into life. To the Star this is “COLEEN PORN MOVIE SHOCK”.
The paper says that Wayne’s brother had “slipped the blue movie” on the end of the episode.
Say Coleen: “The programme finished and the next thing we knew we were staring at some porn video… Next thing Wayne ran into his brother’s bedroom and started whacking him round the head with the tape. Wayne’s brother had stitched us up.”
Boys of a certain age may well sympathise with Wayne’s brother. How he must have roared with delight to discover his porn film – the one he’d left in the video recorder – had been recorded over. What a hoot. And then your pugilistic brother runs in and smacks you in the head with the tape. Well, that puts the tin lid on truly great joke.
But back to Coleen. She’s on a boat, relaxing after the exertions of watching the World Cup. Coleen and her footballer are sailing round the south of France in a 100ft yacht.
“I could go on holiday every week of the year,” says Coleen. “But the work commitments I have, and with Wayne only getting a certain amount of time off when the season’s finished, it’s not possible.”
Who still says being a Wag is all plain sailing…
Posted: 21st, February 2007 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
