Lizzie Come Home – Liz Taylor Comes Out
LIZ Taylor is alive.
Who among us does not see the image of the Hollywood icon on the Express’s front page and think that Taylor has exited stage left?
There she is once more on the Mail’s cover.
But as we fear the worst – and look forward to a Channel 4 season of her films (Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf, Butterfield 8, The Flintstones) and husbands various telling us about the REAL Liz they knew in biopics and biographies – the Mail says: “HOW LIZ CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD.”
The picture is of Liz enjoying her 75th birthday party. “Liz Taylor sparkles at 75,” says the Express.
“Just like Cleopatra, it seems that age really cannot wither Elizabeth Taylor,” says the paper.
And looking at the pictures of Liz down the ages we wonder if the Express’s writer is not suffering from the same eye condition that affected they who once gazed upon the Queen Mother.
The Mail says Taylor has regained some of her “youthful embonpoint”. Taylor is not without stature. (Readers learn that she spends her days watching daytime telly and “devouring packets of organic biscuits”.) She has cats.
Liz looks 75. And her shock of jet black hair, ruby red lips and shimmering white teeth add a ghostly texture to the overall Taylor theme.
But Liz Taylor is alive. And the Mail wants to tell us how she managed it.
She has a friend called Dr Arnold Klein. Dr Klein is “Hollywood’s most expensive anti-ageing dermatologist”. That’s him, the old man with the schoolgirl complexion standing to Liz’s rear.
The Mail says Dr Klein is “legendary for his collagen injections”.
And 18 months ago Taylor bought a new £1,000 Maltese puppy. She called the dog Daisy. And then, according to sources, she stopped taking pills that were making her drowsy.
And, as the Mail says, Taylor began to relish the thought of her underlings and extended family fighting over her £40million fortune.
Not that she’s leaving her estate to anyone just yet. Liz is not dying. She’s just resting between jobs…
Posted: 1st, March 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
