Fags For The Memories – Britney Spears Smokes Kevin Federline
STOP all the clocks, slide your baseball cap to the back of your head, shave off your hair and like a rampant Basil Fawlty beat a car to within an inch of its life – Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are no more.
Says Michael Sands, a spokesman for Kevin’s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan: “The parties signed a global settlement on all issues of their marriage and the custody of the children.”
The minute details have yet to be made public. But who thinks small in America? Thinking big is what it’s all about. This is a global settlement. This is a lawyer who employs people to speak on his behalf. This is Kevin, the former break dancer and rapping rodent who pays his fees. This is the world of Britney Spears.
And it was a deal long in the making. For five hours the matter was debated. Sat around the table were Britney and Kevin, along with Britney’s lawyer Laura Wasser and Kev’s advisors Kaplan and Jim Simon There was a 15-minute break during which Britney and K-Ferret smoked a cigarette.
This is the big picture. But what are the details? What does K-Ferret get? Does he get to keep his white vest, his hats and his whispy beard?
The Sun reports that K-Ferret is to receive US$1million. Kevin and Britney will share custody of their sons Sean Preston and Jayden James, who will live with Britney.
Of course, nothing is forever. And, as the Times reports, a judge will have to approve the settlement for the divorce to become final.
Things could change. Kevin could change. Although his trademark vest looks pretty much a part of him now…
Posted: 30th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink
