Horror Stories And Shameful Deaths
EVERY day of every week the Mail thinks up imaginative ways to remind you that life is cruel and you are going to experience pain and die.
And if it can’t think any up, it looks at the latest scientific research.
Here is a selection of things that will kill you and yours from last week’s paper of doom…
MONDAY
“Nurses feel strain of obese patients” – British Chiropractic Association says fat patients can damage a nurse’s back
“Mother scared by spider drives to her death on eve of son’s wedding” – Women river sees spider in car. Dies. Tragic
“Mystery plague is wiping out our bees”
TUESDAY
”I WISH THEY’D LET MY MOTHER DIE. When clover was 16, her beloved mother had a terrible riding accident. Doctors saved her life – but she was left brain damaged. In this deeply moving article, Clover says: Preserving life at any cost is simple cruelty”
The numbers:
300,000 – “the number of people who have a heart attack each year”
250,000 – the number of people admitted to hospital each year with an adverse drug reaction”
17 – “the average number of muscles used to smile” – cheer up, not dead yet
“Why I’m so happy to have had my womb removed BY EMMA SAMMS”
“Mother on the brink. Exhausted. Lonely. Run off their feet. Women with two pre-school children really ARE prime candidates for a nervous breakdown” – Mum! What do these yellow Smarties do?
“Bizarre delusions. Awful dreams. Why IS intensive care a living nightmare for so many patients?” – Umm, because they are at death’s door?
WEDNESDAY
“CUT-PRICE MIDWIVES A ‘RISK’ TO BABIES” – Say “campaigners”
“One in five can expect a lonely shameful death” – Headline of the week form Professor Allan Kellehear
“Take care on Fridays. That’s the worst day for crashes as divers hurry home for the weekend”
“Nearly 40 and never having found Mr Right, Louise was still determined to have a baby. Two miscarriages, one termination and £30,000 of her savings later, she refuses to give up her heartbreaking quests” – Well, there’s always a shameful death to look forward to
THURSDAY
“Children pay the price of being rushed into nursery” – Research by Oxford University and Institute for Fiscal Studies says toddlers left in daycare for more than 30 hours a week are “significantly” more likely to tease other children
“Anarchy in class. Carl Storm served as a soldier in Belfast and the Falklands, but nothing prepared him for the violence he faced as a teacher in London’s schools” – Well, serves him right for not going armed
“Red meat linked to a higher risk of breast cancer” – So says research backed by World Cancer Research Fund
Posted: 6th, April 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
