We’re All Harry Now: Prince Harry Wins War In Iraq
“I’M HARRY.” No, “I’m Harry”. And “I’m Harry”. And “I’m Harry”. We are all Prince Harry now.
Anorak’s belief that Prince Harry will win the war in Iraq moves one step closer to fruition as the British troops take to wearing their ‘I’m Harry’ T-shirts.
Scrawled in blood-red dye on khaki tops, the message is seen by the Mirror as one of “defiance”. Our brave boys and girls will not kowtow to threats from the frothing-at-the-mouth enemy to do down young Harry Baseball Cap.
The paper says this is just like Spartacus, the film in which the Roman slaves rise up and proclaim one by one “I’m Spartacus”.
Of, course it is believed the real Spartacus died in battle and, chillingly, his body was never found.
But chin up, Harry. The boys are looking out for you.
And in modern warfare there is a chance you will not have fight dressed in a pair of leather greaves and a loin cloth, armed with a lance and a catapult. Or fight at all.
As the Sun reports, Prince Harry will only be sent to Iraq when his comrades have given the all clear that it is, er, safe to do so.
The plan is for soldiers in Harry’s Blues and Royals regiment to arrive in Iraq before him and familiarise themselves with the terrain and the enemy. All being well, they will clear the area of insurgents so making it safe for Harry when he arrives to lead his troop.
A source tells the Mail: “Everyone has sympathy for the prince but it is an increasingly difficult situation and one that is changing day by day.”
Of course, this is all part of Operation Spartacus.
Anorak realises that Harry’s arrival in Iraq will coincide with the order “Ginger Biscuit”, a trigger for all military personnel in that war-torn land to don a red wig and take hold of a small bottle of alcopops.
The enemy will race out of their rat holes to take on ‘Harry’. They will be overpowered and slaughtered.
And the best bit is that Harry need not go to war. Just the spectre of his presence in Iraq will be enough to secure victory.
Tally-ban!
Posted: 3rd, May 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink
