Big Brother’s Jade Goody Goes To Jail – Like Paris Hilton
JADE Goody is facing jail.
So says The People: “EXCLUSIVE – No licence, no insurance, no L plates, yet SHE drives an Audi Mystery of ONE car with TWO reg nos Land Rover tax disc is for a JAGUAR.”
Readers may well read that and think Jade is writing her own headlines. But the garbled mix of mangled English and shouty counting leads to a story of “outrageous motoring offence”.
No, Jade has not turned her 4×4 into a kebab van, converted it to run on curry sauce or been caught shagging in the ashtray.
As the People says, Jade has driven her new Audi “WITHOUT” insurance or a full licence; “THE NUMBER plate on her Range Rover mysteriously CHANGES”; Jade’s teenaged lover Jack Tweedy drove Jade’s Audi last week – “less than three months after he was BANNED for a year for drink-driving”; and “THE TAX disc on the Range Rover was for a DIFFERENT car and was OUT OF DATE”.
And this on top of Jade being arrested last month for allegedly driving her BMW X5 without insurance or a full licence. On Wednesday Goody fans can catch her appearance at a court in Milton Keynes, Bucks.
A police source tells the paper: “If someone is found guilty of offences such as these they may face a prison sentence.”
So Goody is in trouble. The evidence seems compelling. And makes us wonder if she wanted to be caught? It’s not Jade Goody – it’s Britain’s Paris Hilton.
The similarities are uncanny:
Both have performed sex acts on our screens
Both are assisted blonde
Both star in reality TV shows
Both have produced an eponymous perfume – Paris Hilton: Just Me – sparkling top notes of porridge with the chilled fresh burst of Sicilian Bergamot and used adolescent tissue; Shh…by Jade Goody – top notes of raw chicken infused over a base note of Patchouli, Oxo Cube, urine and Indian slum.
Now if Paris can just put on a bit of weight and improve her English…
Posted: 17th, June 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (7) | TrackBack | Permalink
