Wimbledon: Andy Murray Out, Timmy Henman In, Cliff Richard On
GRAB your HRT pot shaker, golf umbrella and copy of sing-along-a Cliff Richard for today is the first day of Wimbledon.
And, as the Express announces on its front page: “TODAY IS WETTEST DAY FOR 50 YEARS.”
There are weather warnings. The weather will be “exceptional” and “horrendous.” Rivers are “saturated and swollen”. Joe Giacomelli, of the Environment Agency says: “It has been raining solidly for ten days and everywhere is saturated, so further rainfall will lead to problems.”
Not least of all for Wimbledon fans forced to endure the breaks in play and living in hope that the sniper on the apartment block roof can demist his gun sight (Look Out Sir Cliff: There’s A Sniper On The Roof) before Cliff can croon “Beware the devil woman/ She’s gonna get you from behind.”
“WIMBLEDROWN,” says the Star. “Fans face a washout at tennis.” Of course, fans of British players always face washout. And this year will be no different as the great white hope, Andy Murray, prepares to mark the Grand Slam tournament by catching up on his daytime telly viewing.
Murray is out. And more news in the Sun as the fans learn that security guards at the All England Club are to cack down on fancy dress and slogans. A selection of “wacky outfits and hats” will be banned, so too some chants.
This is a relief to one and all, not least of all the Henmaniacs who have been seeking a way out, a dignified exit from front-line Tim Henman support for years. Too bad they can’t sing “Ti-meee” over and over and on the command “Go Tim!” rattle their medication.
And with Murray also out, British tennis fans can sit well back in their seats and enjoy the spectacle.
And look. Here comes Cliff now. Shoulder umbrellas. Serve at will…
Posted: 25th, June 2007 | In: Back pages Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink
