David Cameron’s Barmy Army: National Citizen Service
IF David Cameron gets in to Number 10, every 16 year old in the land will be “expected” to devote their summer holiday to “patriotic” duties. (Pic: Beau Bo D’Or)
We talk not, of course, of the lads versus the Waiters XI on a Faliraki beach, nor of the Sixth forms annual invasion of Calais and Boulogne.
Cameron, who most likely survived CCF at his public school, stripping off his civilian uniform of a straw boater and tailed suit to wear junior-sized officer fatigues, says youngsters should partake of military training.
There is a war on. And having observed the Russian Nashi scouts training for death or glory in the words and Canadian nippers at Camp Okkuta preparing for war with live grenades (watch and learn), Britain cannot rest on her laurels.
Says Cameron: “This will make people feel proud about themselves and proud about their country”. Hurrah!
“North and south, black and white, rich and poor,” says Cameron, adopting Del Boy Trotter’s common touch, “They will be putting something back into the community”.
And that community is the one close to the Three Peaks, which Dave wants youngsters to climb.
“It will be a way of learning respect for our country and each other, just like national service was.”
The Sun salutes the initiative. “It will be lampooned by Labour as a six-week hug-in for hoodies,” says the paper. “…But hang on – not all youngsters are tearaways looking for someone to mug.”
Indeed not. Some have already found someone to mug. Other are already carrying live ammo for Queen and country. Young Camerons are on a jolly night out on Boujis.
“Mr Cameron has come up with an imaginative and optimistic idea,” readers learn.
What imagination indeed to get children into uniform. And as for optimism, adults will surely be hopeful that having climbed Ben Nevis, Scafell Pike and Snowden in 24 hours, the youth will be too patronised to pull on a hood let alone beat them to a technicolour pulp.
It will be just terrific. And so much better than the Cub Scouts, Boys Brigade, Sea Cadets and all other youth militia groups currently in vogue…
Posted: 6th, September 2007 | In: Politicians, Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
