London Bans The Plastic Bag: Global Warming Free Zone
“BAN THE BAG,” orders the Independent’s front page.
“British shops hand out more than one billion plastic bags each month, at huge cost to the world’s environment. Yesterday, in a landmark decision, 33 councils in London joined a growing national campaign to…” You know the rest.
Much is left to do. Shoppers, the homeless and other plastic bag enthusiasts await clarification if carrying a plastic bag into a designated Plastic Bag Free Zone is a crime. And what if a bag blows within the zone – whose fault is it, the shopper or the supplier?
The Indy says the ban could take years to come into force. In the meanwhile, “major retailers” have set about designing more lightweight bags, so ensuring bag users inhale less Nicotene and ingest less saturated fat.
Anorak can confirm that these bags are lighter, and that wrapping one within another is the best way to prevent “Shopping Spill”. Alternatively, shoppers are invited to clutch bags to their bosom, as you would a newborn baby or calf.
Peter Woodhall, of the Packaging and Industrial Firm Association, says: “We are losing the battle in terms of hearts and minds of the public, who now certainly believe that the plastic bag is… something we need to eradicate from society.”
The Independent uses it editorial to champion a “plastic bag tax”. This will dissuade shoppers from using plastic bags within the zero tolerance zone.
The ban will out. And Shoppers will be left with the choice of having their food delivered by a man on a push bike, paying extra for carriers or using the supermarket’s handy recyclable metal shopping cart.
Or you could buy Anorak’s new “Food Pockets” clothing range – “Dig Deep for the planet with trousers with pockets that go from hip to toe and back again! Order for Christmas and get a free Comfi-Eggz” head band!”
Posted: 14th, November 2007 | In: Broadsheets Comments (12) | TrackBack | Permalink
