Britney Spears Locked Up For Life
BRITNEY Spears is everywhere. Odd, perhaps, that with so much domestic talent – see the X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent, Stars in Their Bras – the UK press should focus on a sometime American singer.
DAILY MIRROR front page: “Out of control..refusing to hand over her kids..tied up in the back of an ambulance..now on suicide watch”
She is “BROKEN BRITNEY”
THE SUN front page: “BRITNEY ON HORSE DRUGS”
DAILY STAR front page: “CRAZED BRITNEY TAKES BABIES HOSTAGE”
DAILY EXPRESS front page: “Britney has to be tied down after holding her bay sons hostage”
Such is her fame, Britney should consider running for US President. Or release another perfume: SECTION, a slightly antiseptic blend, with top notes of Linctus and frappe over a bed of rubber and starch.
A remake of her movie Crossroads should be considered, with Spears making a comeback every bit as sensational as that by Miss Diane, who starred in the original British version in the late 1970s.
Others will surely panic at the Spears impact on global warming, calculating that as each paparazzi flash gun pops, a polar bear inches closer to death. It is a cogent argument for leaving Britney well alone, if not locking her away for life.
Posted: 5th, January 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
