Mohamed Al Fayed’s Off The Cuff Remarks
MOHAMED al Fayed is on the cover of the nation’s newspapers. Mohamed al Fayed has been speaking about all things Princess Diana and Dodi. Mohammed al Fayed, he says lots.
For reasons unexplained, Mr Fayed has chosen the moment of his greatest attraction to dispense with his usual outfit of skin-tight double-breasted suit and vomit-‘n’-cuff shirts, those stripy shirts with white collar and cuffs he has made his own. Fayed appears in a dark blue suit with large check pattern, and a similarly designed shirt over a blue turtleneck top.
In all papers, Mr Fayed is pictured raising his hand to the air like Topol’s impish wife asking him off the bloody roof get, or else looking like a very small man pleading with the much taller sweetshop owner to help him reach the top shelf.
The news:
DOILY MIRROR (front page): “HORRIBILIS”
“Charles wanted Di dead to wed Camilla,” and baked in a pie with all the poor blackbirds, innit, like Robert Kilroy-Silk, Elvis, Anthea Turner and Lee Harvey Oswald?
“Philip’s a Nazi..go back to Germany!” – He like Ken Hitler to that fuggign Klaus Barbie woman. That Osama bin Laden and Philip have never been seen in same room at same time. Shock. Is truth!
DOILY MAIL: “Al Fayed tells inquest Prince Philip’s a racist Nazi called Frankenstein, Camilla is a crocodile and royals are a ‘Dracula family’.” Still he insists.. I’M NOT MAD”.
THE SUN: “IS HE OFF HIS FAYED?”
THE STAR: “VAMPIRE ROYALS KILLED DI”
DOILY ESPRESS: “’Prince Philip and Blair ordered murder. And the Queen, he adds, bought off Burrell”
It’s all just so fanciful that , given how implausible life can be – see the tabloids every day – there remains the chance that Mr Fayed is hitting upon some kind of truth.
If you can spot it – and if the agents from SPECTRE don’t get you first – let us know what the truth is…
Posted: 19th, February 2008 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids Comments (9) | TrackBack | Permalink
