Paul Gascoigne Is Dafter Than You Or Me
IT’S “BIG AND NATURAL WEEK” in the Daily Sport. And that means focusing on larger than life Geordie footballer Paul Gascoigne.
“WE’RE WITH YOU GAZZA,” says the Sport, unnervingly, as “a true hero” is sectioned under the terms of the Mental Health Act.
Gazza belies the efforts of Michelle and Kerri by sporting a pair of comedy plastic Jordans. But this is not his sole moment of madness as police are called to hotel in Gateshead.
The Star (“GAZZA PUT IN MENTAL UNIT”) says Gazza has been engaged in “bizarre behaviour” in a hotel suite he shares with three toy parrots “that squawked obscenities at fellow guests”.
To complete the tableau, the Star says Gazza is naked and setting off a fire alarm and, as is reported, trying to “throttle” a night porter.
In Gascoigne’s room is a plate of raw liver. He is, as the Sun reports, answering the door with the word “MAD” inked on his forehead.
Having failed to secure a hammock on a I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!, and stuck down by injury and thus forced to watch David Seaman take the plaudits on Dancing On Ice, Gazza’s post—playing career has lacked the direction one would expect from an “ex-England ace”.
Gazza is now on “SUICIDE WATCH”, says the Sun’s front page. A source says he was “clearly under the influence of drugs” as he was taken to hospital in a police van.
“Gazza is locked up in metal hospital after wild rampage at hotel,” announces the Express.
The Mail’s Jeff Powell puts it all in some kind of perspective us when he says: “Gazza is no more a menace to society than the village simpleton, that lost soul whom mothers cross the street to avoid but who would hang himself rather than harm a child.”
Tender words form the Mail’s man at pictch side. You should not cross the road to avoid Paul Gascoigne, and he’d rather top himself than fiddle with your kids.
If the media can make him a victim of the credit crunch and solicit his views on Islam, larger tan life Gazza can achieve the prominent position that was once his by right…
Paul Gascoigne-Gascoigne is dafter than you and me
He’s in a secure facility
Paul Gascoigne-Gascoigne
Posted: 22nd, February 2008 | In: Back pages Comments (7) | TrackBack | Permalink
