Earthquakes Arrive In Britain, Skegness Is Bracing

DID the earth move for you?

“QUAKE ROCKS UK,” screams the Sun’s front-page headline. “5.1 rumble felt from Brighton to Durham.”

We race to tell Old Mr Anorak. “Where’s the pun?” he asks. “Has the world gone utterly mad?”

First global warming, then an invasion of foreign species and now earthquakes hit the UK. The country is changing and it our duty to innovate.

Buildings are rocked. An eight foot crack appears in Mark Young’s neighbour’s garden in Leicester. John Burton’s house in Wakefield shakes. Simon Smith does not exaggerate when he says, “It was like a juggernaut was going down my road.” Says Phil Cass, Wellingborough: “I was just sitting watching the TV and my chair started moving and the glass cabinet was wobbling.”

The epicentre of this earthquake is in Lincolnshire. As the poster says “Skegeness is bracing”. And what it has bracing itself for is now made apparent.

We need advice. And we turn to the Government “PREPARING FOR EMERGENCIES” website

We search “earthquake”. And we are met by the chilling message:

“The page cannot be found

The page you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable.”

Aaah!! Are we alone? Hello! Mayday. Hello…

Anorak

Posted: 27th, February 2008 | In: Tabloids Comments (4) | TrackBack | Permalink