Prince Harry Plays At Tabloid Soldiers: Matt Drudge Reads New Ideas
WE join the action in the wastes of Helmland Province, Afghanistan. The UK Media Corps is discussing the news that Prince Harry has been fighting the Taliban, something they all knew weeks ago but which was made public by New Ideas magazine in January, an Australian woman’s weekly- and claimed as a scoop in March by the self-serving Matt Drudge:
PSSST! They say Prince Harry is in Afghanistan.
MEDIA CORPS: Hurrah! Tally-ban!
Shhh!
EXPRESS (Lance Corporal): HARRY THE SECRET HERO.
STAR (Private): “WHEN HARRY MET TALI”
Shhhhh!
EXPRESS: “Harry and the Gurkas give the Taliban a pasting.”
Keep it down, lads. Mindless chatter costs lives and..
SUN (Private): “ONE OF OUR BOYS. Frontline prince kills 30 Taliban.
MIRROR (Corporal): MY WAR
It’s Operation Harry. All the lads have pulled on their regulation issue Harry Hair and to the cry “I’m Harry Windsor” attracted the Taliban from their fox holes and caves, so facilitating an easier slaughter?
SUN: WIDOW 67
Keep it down. We can’t have the enemy knowing Harry’s secret call sign…
SUN: “Wills says mum would be so proud.”
Diana was ever one for the Army. And khaki is this year’s black…
MIRROR: “MUM IS LOOKING DOWN ON ME”
Don’t be so hard on yourself, Harry
SUN: Tears on the phone to his Chelsy”
ANDY McNAB (Professional Shoadow): “I’m gutted for Prince Harry. I really feel for the fella as reports from the front line were that he’d been doing a sensational job… but the foreign press who leaked the tour of duty have now blown Harry’s chances out of the water…The leak has now thrown a potential hand-grenade into his career.”
Take cover!
MAIL (Lieutenant): “Harry puts his life on the line”
JON SNOW (Padre): “I never thought I’d find myself saying thank God for Drudge”
Because he broke the secret – the one many in the UK media already knew – that Harry was in Afghanistan? Because Jon Snow was wondering where Harry had got to? Because Jon Snow is a sanctimonies handwringer, the media’s in-house vicar?
(Jon Snow may care to know that the story was not broken by the self-serving Matt Drudge but by weekly women’s magazine New Idea)
MAIL: “Harry calls in an air strike”
4 Horseferry Road, London…
ALL: Incoming!!!!
Posted: 29th, February 2008 | In: Royal Family, Tabloids Comments (7) | TrackBack | Permalink
