Hunting With Harry: Prince Harry At Highgrove
PRINCE Harry’s War. Scene III. A room in highgrove house…
MAIL: (loudly) HARRY’S HOME. (Purses lips) Chelsy makes 200-mile dash for a romantic reunion.. and to talk about their relationship. (The clack of marmalade-coated tongues can be heard)
Were you so terribly lonely, Harry?
EXPRESS: Harry’s home and Chelsy’s waiting
Where the f*** have you been. Ten week’s I’ve been sat ‘ere!?
MIRROR: (Standing to attention and reading from a small black notebook) She “was out night-clubbing until the early hours before packing her stuff and dashing down the motorway to see Harry… The blonde danced the night away at Rio’s nightclub in the centre of Leeds with a group of mainly female friends until after 4am.
Harry stares at the wall
She looked stunning in a black dress at the club, which costs £10 to get in. Under six hours later she emerged from her student digs in the city and dragged a huge blue case to her car.
Nothing moves, save for the TV images of Ross Kemp on Gangs
Clutching hair straigheners and a folder of college work, she also placed her beloved mongrel puppy into the passenger seat.
Sah!
STAR ON SUNDAY: Harry’s home
Harry’s back at Boujis
OBSERVER: (Wearing ‘We’re all Hezbollah’ now T-shirt) Harry tells of ‘anguish’ over injured heroes
Did you record it, Chelsy? What about the EastEnders omnibus?
SUNDAY TIMES: ‘I’M NO HERO’ SAYS PRINCE HARRY
SUNDAY MAIL: “There was outrage in Australia last week when Central Coast Mariners star Andre Gumprecht dressed up as Hitler at a club party. The 33-year-old German followed Prince Harry’s lead by turning up in a Nazi uniform and even went a step further by sporting a dodgy moustache.
Will they never leave him be. Why do they stare?!
Curtains
A cave.
GEORGE GALLOWAY: Prince Harry was saying on TV that he was engaging the enemy. I don’t know about you, but I have no enemies in Afghanistan. The Taliban are not the enemy for me.
Lights dim. The sound of thunder and a white Fiat Uno starting up
Posted: 2nd, March 2008 | In: Royal Family Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
