The Lush Smell Of Guantanamo Bay And Insurgency For Men
HELP! There’s a Suspected Terrorist In My Bath.
No, it’s not show on the end of the pier, starring Lionel Blair, soapy soap star Barbra Windsor and Fern Britton.
It’s true. There really is a terrorist in my bath. Your bath has been infiltrate by a dose of Guantanamo Garden – “Take a bath, then take action.”
As the back of Guantanamo Garden Ballistic says: “With Guantanamo Garden, we like to draw your attention to two men currently in Guantanamo Bay, Al Jazeera News cameraman Sami Al Haj and Ethiopian British resident, Binyam Mohamed.”
Fact: Suds U was a campaign began by Matey, which highlighted the plight of Britain’s merchant seaman.
While you soak in your orange, jasmine and chocolate scented bath, count your blessings. There have been 776 prisoners in Guantanamo Bay, held without a trial and around the world Reprieve estimate that the US holds around 26,000 “ghost” prisoners in secret locations.
Many of us retreat to the tub with a tabloid (broadsheets are too big), a flannel or a boat (see Matey).
But now we bathe with an Ethiopian and a cameraman, who froth at the mouth on contact with water. Pop the Ballistic terror bomb into your bath and see a picture of the men appear before your eyes. Not, visions in steamy vapours, rather faces on small picture discs.
But, you ask, what do they smell like? Lush knows that suspected terrorists smell of:
Sodium Bicarbonate , Citric Acid , Perfume , Orange Flower Absolute (Citrus sinensis) , Sweet Orange Oil (Citrus dulcis) , Vetivert Oil (Vetiveria zizanoides) , Sandalwood Oil (Santalum album) , Cocoa Absolute (Theobroma cacao) , *Coumarin , *Geraniol , *Limonene , Linalool
While both men maintain their innocence, the product alerts us to the marketing potential of the War On Terror:
Eau De Osama: Osama Bin Laden’s signature scent will enliven your cage with the smell of pine, cactus and brimstone. Comes in a handy self-righting bottle.
Taliban Talc: Be as dry as an Afghani’s mini bar.
Insurgency: The fragrance for men. Comes in handy bottle fashioned into an AK47. Strafe yourself in the aroma of today’s man about town
Not available in any shops…
Posted: 12th, March 2008 | In: Reviews Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink
