Finding Laughter In Heathrow Terminal Five
MORE news on HeathRow Terminal Five, which is skilfully lowering passenger expectations to a degree whereby anyone spilling a plastic pot of orange juice down their clothes or on the receiving end of an invasive body search in customs will see it as progress and a triumph.
Hurrah!
And there is much joy to be found in HeathRow. As Max Hastings says in the Guardian:
Greens greeted the Terminal Five opening fiasco with the same glee that would be inspired by news of a Japanese whale factory ship foundering off Kyushu. In the eyes of environmentalists, and more than a few people who just hate the airport, here was a massive poke in the eye for British Airways, the aviation lobby, Heathrow expansionists and lots of other people richly deserving of it.
But joy may not last long for the Al Goreans. The Express says that British Airways plans to sort out the backlog of 15,000 bags in Italy. Luggage is being despatched to the airline’s sorting centre in Milan.
Some bags may end up in Manila. But the bulk will arrive in Milan where the handlers will put them order: valuable bags will be placed in the back of a large unmarked white van; less valuable lined up in order of hideousness and thrown down a flight of stairs and jumped up and down upon until quite dead.
• Of course BA is a reputable outfit and bags will be handled with the kind of care afforded to a giant Panda’s reproductive organs.
Just a joke. As we say, there is much joy to be had in others’ misfortune…
Posted: 31st, March 2008 | In: Tabloids Comments (6) | TrackBack | Permalink
