To Little Chef With St George And Holocaust Martyrs Remembrance Day
“WE’RE ENGLISH & PROUD OF IT!” cries the Star.
“Raise a glass and give a mighty lung-busting roar for England and St George!”
Yes, that’s right, it’s St George’s day once again. The day when all kinds of fun-loving English men and women dress up, get drunk, and complain how they aren’t allowed to celebrate their nationality.
So how is “BRITAIN’S MOST SUCCESSFUL NEWSPAPER” celebrating? Rather confusingly, as it happens. To quote its own words: “Today the Daily Star asks just what the hell is wrong with being English, exactly?”
Placed around this article are pictures of: “race ace Robbie Kerr” holding a flag; David James holding a flag; two Asian-looking girls (with St George’s flags painted on their faces) welcoming Prince Charles to Birmingham; a young blonde lady in a bikini decorated with St George’s flags; a blonde lady wearing an England shirt and eating a pie in a patriotic pub; “London’s David Ward” (not Crewe’s nor Stockport’s) waving a flag on top of a van; and toddler Jodie Brakett, who is pictured buried up to her chest and wearing a St George’s hat to ward off evil spirits, foreign invaders and paedophiles.
We are confused. Is this the Star’s idea of “what the hell is wrong with being English, exactly?”.
Of course not! These are pictures of people celebrating their Englishness.
“We’re constantly told that flying the cross of St George, wearing an England shirt or – heaven forbid – having an England tattoo instantly makes you a racist thug,” complains the successful paper. “NO. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING PROUD OF YOUR COUNTRY, YOUR CULTURE AND YOUR TRADITIONS.
“England welcomes one and all, always has and always will. And it’s great that so many people want to live here because it’s STILL one of the best places in the world to live.”
Only “one of the best”? Not THE best?
We at Anorak have had it up to here with this sort of defeatism. We’re putting on our England beanie hats, donning our special St George Comfi-Slax and driving to the nearest motorway services to “CELEBRATE ST GEORGE’S DAY WITH A FREE full English breakfast at LITTLE CHEF” courtesy of the Daily Mirror.
Any Mirror readers out there who can’t redeem their voucher today will be pleased to know that they can use it to celebrate St George’s day any time before Wednesday 7th May.
But we suggest you avoid Friday 2nd May (Holocaust Martyrs Remembrance Day – one occasion upon which it might be best not to raise a glass and give a mighty lung-busting roar for England and St George).
As a dignified alternative, we suggest a sip of tepid tea or coffee while gazing out onto the wet car park. It’s the Little Chef way. It’s the English way. It’s what made this country what it is today.
Posted: 23rd, April 2008 | In: Tabloids Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink
