There Are No Gays In Football
THERE are no gays in football. That’s what Sir Bobby Robson once said, back in the days when he was plain old Bobby. It’s not “conductive” to them, he explained.
Of course, he changed his tune later, and waxed lyrical about the cosmopolitan ways of Barcelona with its ladyboys and what-have-you.
As ever, we tolerant English are ahead of the game. The Latins (as we once called those foreign football types) are still stuck in the dark ages of crumbling terraces catenaccio, racism and homophobia.
“BENDERS AIN’T LIKE BECKHAM,” announces the Star’s rather confusing headline. (Note to younger readers: “bender” is a term for gays that was in common playground parlance when Old Mr Anorak was a nipper.)
It transpires that the disgraced former Juventus chief Luciano Moggi reckons that there are no homosexuals in football because “the football world is not designed for them”. The 69-year-old describes himself as “old school”.
More interesting are the other footballing figures quoted in the article.
It is interesting, for instance, to learn that the former Argentina coach Daniel Passarella was quoted in 1998 as saying he didn’t want any gays or long-haired players in his team. (Passarella captained his country to victory in the 1978 World Cup – unquestionably the team with the longest hair in the history of the competition.)
David James (who incidentally is a leading light in the campaign for a carbon-neutral FA Cup) is quoted as asking why gay players don’t openly admit their sexuality.
The Star itself is similarly baffled. There have been rumours about the sexuality of players, it reminds us, but apart from Justin Fashanu, no one has ever come out. Statistically speaking, it reasons, every Premier League team must have a gay player in the squad. “So where the hell are they?”
Having read all those sensitive reports of rumours and innuendos in the tabloid of St George, we simply can’t imagine why no one seems keen to take the lead.
Maybe the men of the old school were right. Maybe they just don’t like it up ’em.
Posted: 23rd, April 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink
