Pete Doherty Tries To Murder Cats
“YOU know it’s time to knock the narcotics on the head when you try to execute innocent domestic pets with garden implements,” says the Sun of Pete Doherty.
Says the pop f***wit: “I got a shovel and was going to kill one of the cats. That was when I was, like, you know, ‘I’m a bit of a mess’. It was a bit of a crazy time.”
Doherty we know about. Some may ever say he remains a bit of a mess, being messy what he does best. But what of cats?
Just yesterday Lindsay Lohan was reported to have sent Russell Brand a cat, possibly in the post.
Last week, a man was taken away in handcuffs after allegedly murdering a cat which had teased him.
Anorak can only conclude that the world has been driven mad by fidgety Andrew Lloyd Webber, and cats are paying the price of his work.
Who has not seen Webber’s musical show Cats and gone home purring like a cat, sitting on strangers’ laps and poking their backside into human faces when they fail to respond with warmth?
And who has not seen the show and wanting to throttle the life out of these cat people or place them in a bag and fling it into a canal?
But so realistic are these cat people that many actual cats are getting caught up in the purge.
For shame…
Posted: 13th, May 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
