The Purple Emporor: Fergie Loves Coleen McLoughlin
“FERGIE: I LOVE COLEEN,” says the Sun’s front page, and we see a picture of the puce Alex Ferguson and another of Wayne Rooney’s lover Coleen McLoughlin.
He much prefers Wayne and Coleen because they are “a different class”.
A different class to what, the rest of mankind? Has Fergie been studying biology, in which case it’s different classification, rather then class?
Over in the Sun, Coleen and Wayne are making preparations for their marriage.
Fifty guests at an Italian clifftop abbey — “visible only from the sea”, and in OK! — will each be given a hand-made box tied with a ribbon and containing a live butterfly.
On the command “f*** off you Portuguese w*anker” guests will then open their containers and watch the creatures flutter away.
Says a source: “The butterfly release will make everyone gasp with amazement. It’s a beautiful sight, the day is going to be magical. They’ve chosen the Riviera’s most picturesque spot.”
What could go wrong and spoil it all? And over in the corner a old Scots man pulls the wings form his butterfly – she loves me; she loves me not…
Posted: 26th, May 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
