Fern Briton’s New Weight Loss DVD
THIS MORNING hostess Fern Britton’s new weight loss DVD comes in a slimline 16 collectable instalments.
In Episode 1, viewers will learn how to eat Ryvita crackers (in private), and listen up as “chubby” (Sun) Fern tells them: “I just ate a bit healthier and took up cycling to work … It’s taken me two years and a lot of hard work.”
Episode 2 comes with a complementary bottle of ether, a pad of cotton wool and instructions how to puncture a wound in a stomach and insert a bicycle inner tube.
Episode 3 and Fern’s celebrity chef husband Phil Vickery is fingering his Sabatiers, drawing lines on Fern’s naked tum-tum and opining: “Fern has lost a lot of weight through cycling, walking the dog and not eating too much – simple as that.”
Episode 4 and wrapped in bandages, the Mirror sees a picture gallery “bragging” of Fern’s”amazing transformation”. One picture is reportedly captioned: “Fern … began losing weight by eating sensibly and doing regular exercise.”
A picture of her new size 16 figure instructs: “After sticking to her healthy eating plan Fern’s dresses were getting smaller and smaller!”
Says Anne Diamond: “Only ignorant, unfeeling snobs would call Fern a cheat for getting a gastric band to sort out her body…
Like those snobs at the Sun, who say: “CUDDLY TV star Fern Britton faces the sack from Ryvita after admitting she had surgery to lose weight.”
Says an “advertising expert” in the Sun: “Ryvita won’t be happy — they can’t have their brand tainted by a lie.”
Episode 6: “Fern knits two Ryvtia into a sensational Gucci outfit to kick off her new wardrobe…”
Posted: 2nd, June 2008 | In: Celebrities, Tabloids, TV & Radio Comments (22) | TrackBack | Permalink
