Princess Diana’s Old Banger

PRINCESS Diana is looking better than ever, and is duly restored to her throne on the Express’s cover.

Radiant after the summer break (“Thanks, Maddie, for the time off” -Di), Diana is dressed in blue off-the-shoulder dress and pearl-drop earrings.

Diana’s car of death is for sale, or it could be, or not. The Express senses “fury”.

But be still. Wait. Ask yourself not what you would do, to avenge Diana but what Diana would do?

And if you can’t connect with your inner Diana, go to the fabled Sixth Floor at Harvey Nichols and ask her yourself…

Anorak