The Idiots Guide To The Lehman Brothers
LEHMAN Brothers bank collapses, proof that capitalism works and you’re never to big to go under.
Big news, then. But the red-tops have a problem: they need to make their readers understand what Lehman Brothers was. They do this by finding an easy point of reference and talking down to them in words of one syllable or fewer.
THE SUN (front page): “CRASH – BANG – WALLOP”
Jobs have been lost. Lehman’s hasn’t half a sixpence to its name. But what does it man? Well:
“Manchester Utd sponsor AIG could be next.”
That’s right. Man United fans might be forced to buy a new shirt. And with the season but a few weeks old. For shame!
The collapse of the America’s fourth largest investment bank is illustrated by a picture of renowned merchant banker and money man Wayne Rooney.
Says Kredit Krunch Katie, 23, Liverpool:
“Everyone seems to be suffering in the credit crunch. You just wonder who will be next to go.”
DAILY STAR: “Manchester United’s insurance giant sponsor AIG seeking [sic] an urgent £25bn.”
Can AIG ask Manchester City’s new owners for a loan, or arrange with United to sell Cristiano Ronaldo to the City club?
That’s Lehman Brothers “America’s foruth biggest bank”. Or not. American forth biggest bank is Wachovia Corp. Let’s hope staff there don’t read the Star and panic.
DAILY MIRROR: “GORILLA OF GREED”
The Mirror looks beyond the victims to the culprit. The paper says he’s Dick Fuld, Lehman brothers boss. He earned £22milion last year. How his wages are related to the banks hundreds of billions in liabilities is unspecified.
But still, you want a villain, and the Mirror delivers…
What does it all mean?
“And Manchester United’s embattled sponsor AIG…was handed a £11.2billion lifeline.”
It’s banking for idiots…
Posted: 16th, September 2008 | In: Money, Tabloids Comments (8) | TrackBack | Permalink
