Listed: 10 reasons why American sports fans have more fun
1. Cheerleaders
It’s a bad thing that Americans need to be told when to cheer, but hey… some cheerleaders > no cheerleaders.
2. Guns
They have guns across the pond! And their sports stars are always getting into entertaining scrapes with them. This week, for example, NY Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress (real name) shot himself in the leg in a Manhattan nightclub. Awesome.
3. Sports Illustrated
The best sports magazine on the planet. And they have a fricking swimsuit issue! Can you imagine the politically correct nonsense we’d have to put up with if a British sports mag ran a swimsuit issue?
4. Sunshine
They have much more of it in the States, which makes watching sport fun. Even indoors.
5. The U-S-A! chant
Annoys all Brits intensely, but only because we’re jealous that we don’t have a similarly catchy-yet-jingoistic chant.
6. The draft system
Ensures that no single team (or group of four, say) achieves a stifling, oligarchal dominance over the others. FA Premier League, take note.
7. Fighting
They have it in the NHL, and the officials make little to no effort to prevent it. Brilliant. Guinness Rugby Premiership, take note.
8. TV coverage
Blanket coverage of all the big US sports. Even better, you don’t have to put up with the brand of inane punditry (Alan Shearer and the whole of Sky Sports, take note) we’re subjected to over here. Yank sports pundits shit all over British pundits from a skyscraper-sized height, in as much as they know what they’re talking about and do so with admirable passion.
9. Head coaches
All appear to be intense, angry drill seargant types with gruff voices. Which works for us…
10. Nicknames
America is the land of the free. It is also the land of the genius nickname. In Britain, we have to make do with “Giggsy” (Ryan Giggs, duh) and “Wazza” (Wanye Rooney). Stateside, looky here: Magic Johnson, Shoeless Joe, The Fridge, The Golden Bear, Mr October, The Galloping Ghost, The Great One, etc etc.
To use American parlance, we got OWNED. Although baseball is still gay.
Posted: 3rd, December 2008 | In: Sports Comments (5) | TrackBack | Permalink
