Police Sentence Last Man In Britain To Discover Internet
DAVID Jell, of Queens Road, Hawkhurst, Kent, has been banned from carrying on his person felt tip- pens.
Mr Jell is also banned from writing abusive comments, people’s nicknames or contact details in a public place, and from “acting anti-socially by causing harassment, alarm or distress to others”.
One may wonder how you can be banned from causing distress to another when the odds on getting along with everyone are so remote? If this rule can be enforced, Anorak hereby petitions the rule makers to apply it to Mr Noel Edmonds, Mrs Cherie Blair, the BBC’s Breakfast ‘Team’ and anyone who has ever appeared on Strictly Come Dancing.
They annoy us and must stop or be jailed.
Evidence of Mr Jell’s wrongdoing was presented to Sevenoaks Magistrates Court. The Beaks heard that Mr Jell had written abusive comments in public toilets about women he had taken a dislike to.
Anorak images that these were men’s toilets and wonders if anyone actually calls phone numbers written in such places?
He also wrote rude words on a newspaper as he travelled on the bus and pointed them out to his victims.
Anorak thinks it is all terrible, and sympathises with the victims.
It is hoped the ban on felt tips and spray pain will stymie Mr Jell’s activities, although he has yet to discover Magic Markers, Biros and paint. This might be a story about standards, and the notable absence of a fountain pen.
But the real crux of this story is that Mr Jell seems to be the last person in Britain to discover the internet, the preferred medium of trolls, abusive letter writers and name callers.
Unless, of course, he has. In which case, the floor is his…
Posted: 2nd, January 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink
