Katie Holmes Would Beat Britney Spears To Hollywood’s Highest Earning Whore
KRISTIN Billie Davis, formerly of Wicked Models escort service, frequented by now former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, tells Steppin Out magazine what various celebs – Britney Spears, Katie Holmes etc. – would earn if she pimped them out.
Davis reveals herself to be the worst agent since Alan Shearer’s advisor told him to turn down Manchester United.
Her top earner is… Katie Holmes. The best thing about Holmes is that she can keep going for hours, days, even weeks at a time without taking a rest. Punters may even pay her extra to stop.
1. Britney Spears: If she cleaned herself up maybe I could get a thousand dollars an hour for her. But if was the old Britney before she went crazy I could have gotten $2,000 easy.
Mad for it!
2. Paris Hilton: She would get $1,500 an hour. She’s slender and doesn’t have implants. She’s blonde and I could get away with selling her as a Ford model.
Given her wonky eye, Anorak suggest a Ford Focus with half a tank of gas.
3. Beth Ostrosky: I like Beth. She’s tall and blonde. It’s always a homerun if I can get a girl who’s 5’9” or above. She’s usually perfect. Beth would be in the upper ranking. I could get $2,000 an hour for her easy.
Sex by the inch. What’s Spitzer worth?
4. Katie Holmes: Katie would be very popular because she has that All American, college girl look. She would be super popular. Men want girls who look like Howard Stern’s wife; the tall slender model type or they want that non-flashy, classically beautiful fresh face young look. The girl next door whom they could never get. They want the runway model they can’t have now, or the prom queen they couldn’t have then. I could probably get $2,500 an hour for Katie. Maybe even $3,000. I could max out on her.
Out of this world, literally!
5. Angelina Jolie: She would be my top girl. I call it my “Number one.” I would put her at $2,000 an hour. But you couldn’t get her unless you booked her for 4 hours. I wouldn’t let her go for just an hour. Maybe if you were a good client you could get her for an hour, but I would charge a lot more. At least $2,500.
Don’t movie stars charge by the 90 minutes, plus trailers?
6. Sarah Palin: (Laughs) I wouldn’t have any market for her. She couldn’t work for me. She’s cute, but not for my kind of clients. There are escort agencies that specialize in specific kinds of demographics. She could work for a cheaper agency. Maybe a $300 dollar an hour type agency. I would call her a mid-range escort type.
Wardrobe included. And she keeps any baby.
7. Playboy Playmates: I had many Playmates call me for work. Many! I’m talking about centerfolds. But I would only work with 1 out of 5. Usually, their boobs are too big or too fake looking. They look too California. For the most part I wouldn’t use Playmates.
California – big, dry and doomed.
8. Lindsay Lohan: She would do great! She’s got that fresh face and freckles. Men would eat her up! I could get $1,800 an hour for Lindsay….Easy! I would let her go for just the hour. She would work more volume for me. Short stays and busy all night. But I’m sure I could get clients to extend time with her if I asked.
Bring video camera.
9. Rihanna: I think she is stunning and gorgeous. If I were a client I would choose her. But honestly, I don’t have a market for her. She couldn’t work for me. It’s unfortunate. The African American and Asian models never do well. Rihanna wouldn’t bring in any business for me.
Water sports.
10. Melania Trump: She’s hot. She would make a lot of money. But the one problem with her is that men don’t like Jewish women and eastern European women. So I would have to lie about her nationality. Maybe say she’s from Amsterdam or Sweden. Otherwise she would have trouble getting work. I would also change her name. I could get $2,000 an hour for her if she played along and didn’t let it slip where she’s from.
The 19th hole.
Posted: 4th, January 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
