Kristallnacht: Panic Buying As Last Lights Go Out In Britian
WILL the last person in Britain please turn the Great British lights back on? The Mail leads the clarion call:
Revolt! Robbed of their right to buy traditional light bulbs, millions are clearing shelves of last supplies.
On it goes:
Millions of Britons are finally waking up to the fact that their beloved light bulb will disappear for good after 120 years.
The Great British light bulb has been lighting up the country since 1889, having first been ignited by late The Queen Mother. With her gone, we at least had the bulb, but now the European Union has crushed it beneath their jackboots.
A long shadow has fallen across Europe, and one that mocks the dim enviro-bulbs, that are no match for our Great British 100-watt bulb that has lighting up the planet from Botany Bay to Bridlington an age.
Cue “panic”:
Yesterday panic buyers were snapping up the remaining bulbs in a last-ditch attempt to stockpile the final supplies. Hundreds of leading supermarkets and DIY chains – including Sainsbury’s, Asda and Homebase – have already sold their last remaining bulbs after a surge in panic buying.
They should turn them on and allow we whoa re without to follow the light. At 4:36 tomorrow, Britons will switch on 100-watt bulbs and blind the enemy with a white light of right for full two minutes.
The supplies are running out after the Government signed up to an EU decision to replace conventional 100w light bulbs with supposedly greener low energy alternatives.
Which can kill you in your beds:
But experts have questioned whether or not the new bulbs, far from being environmentally friendly, are actually harmful. The low-energy fluorescent bulbs can trigger skin rashes, migraines and epilepsy. There is also concern because the fluorescent bulbs contain mercury, which makes them dangerous to get rid of.
Unless you lob them at France. Load the cannon!
“I have such a horror of energy saving bulbs that every time I go to Sainsbury’s I buy a couple of the conventional ones,” says Mrs Spottiswood, 62. My neighbour opposite has energy saving bulbs and the lights are horrible and they take ages to warm up. I also get quite depressed in the winter, particularly if the lighting is dim. I hate them.”
Worse:
“…the EU will impose a ban on sales of 100w bulbs from September. It will also ban all types of frosted glass incandescent bulbs.”
No longer will the front room be bathed in the pinkish glow of Empire. The EU is upon us. Switch on the lights. Check the shadows.
Draw the curtain…
Posted: 7th, January 2009 | In: Reviews Comments (19) | TrackBack | Permalink
