Bernie Madoff Writes
BERNIE Madoff, the man who used his own greed to tap into the greed of his investors, who confessed to stealing $50 billion, resides under house arrest in his $7 million Upper East Side penthouse.
Prosecutors argue that Madoff should have his bail revoked and be sent to jail because – get this – he might not be all that honest and trying to break the law by secreting monies away.
When he’s not, allegedly, writing checks for £173million – prosecutors claim to have found 100 signed checks worth $173 million in Bernard Madoff’s desk – he’s penning letters to his neighbours:
Dear Neighbors,
Please accept my profound apologies for the terrible inconvenience that I have caused over the past weeks. Ruth and I appreciate the support we have received.
Best regards,
Bernard Madoff
Madoff goes on to say:
PS:
Between us, I have just received news from Mr Mustapha Alfa, the manager, Bills and Exchange at the Foreign Remittance Department of the Union Bank of Nigeria Plc, someone I am proud to call a friend.
He’s discovered an abandoned sum of $950m in an account that belongs to one of his foreign customers, a Bernadette Runsoff, who died along with his loving wife in a plane crash in late 2008.
Since he heard of the deaths of those good people, he’s been expecting his next-of-kin to come over and put claims for the money as the heir. He cannot release the funds from his account unless someone applies for claim as the next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated in that country’s banking guidelines.
Rules are rules.
Unfortunately, neither their family member nor distant relative has ever appeared to claim the said fund.
But this is your opportunity. All I need is a helicopter, or something bigger if you have it to hand – although, hey, times are tough – to fly to Nigeria and collect the money. I will also need £35m in cash to pay any outstanding fines and local taxes.
Do this for me and in return I’ll give you 2% over any other deal on the market for the lifetimes of you, your children and your children’s children (less any foreign expenses incurred by me and dear Ruth during the course of this business).
Yours (is now mine), Bernie
Hurry. Do not miss out!
Offer ends soon!
Posted: 15th, January 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money Comments (3) | TrackBack | Permalink
