Alien Microbes Emit Gas On Mars
THE Sun tells Earthlings that “ALIEN microbes living just below the Martian soil are responsible for a haze of methane around the Red Planet.”
Out goes the theory that the red planet was the cosmos’s knocking shop, a beacon for sex and debauchery.
Last week, the Sun brought news that aliens had damaged a wind turbine in Lincolnshire.
There were lights in the skies. Shapes in the skies. Aliens in command of the kind of advanced technology that would make our heads spin had piloted their state-of-the-art machine into a metal windmill.
On the aliens home planet, an investigation is endeavouring to discover if the pilot had imbibed too much space dust and the onboard satnav malfunctioned.
Back to Mars, and the news that we’re next:
The gas, belched in vast quantities in our world by cows, was detected by orbiting spacecraft and from Earth using giant telescopes.
Cows will kills us all. No wonder Hindus treat them with kindness and respect. Cows are playing the long game. Enjoy your steak for tomorrow you die in a haze of cow fart.
So Mars has life. Unless:
Some scientists reckon methane is also produced by volcanic processes. But there are NO known active volcanoes on Mars.
No knowns, eh? But this is science, and it was ever complex. Get your heads around this one, readers, or try to:
Furthermore, Nasa has found the gas in the same regions as clouds of water vapour, the vital “drink” needed to support life.
Wa.ter v…apo…ur, or however you say can be used as a “d…rin..k”. It’s all boffintastic braniac stuff. Can any big brain help us to comprehend?
John Murray — a member of the Mars Express European space probe team — believes the mini-Martians may be in a form of suspended animation and could even be REVIVED.
Perhaps they will awakened by a kiss from a handsome prince, or a ginger one looking to escape the media huddle and have some fun?
UK “Mars expert” Professor Colin Pillinger tells us that it is “almost universally agreed” and “believed” that there “could” be life on Mars, almost certainly.
“Mars is very similar to Earth,” he says. Ooer! Should we be planning for our future?
We cannot afford to take changes. Seal the doors on the Big Brother house. And get Ulrika to put Verne to sleep with story of her second huzzzzzzzband.
The future of mankind may depend on it!
Posted: 15th, January 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink
