Britain’s Got Talent: Thomas Herron, Greg Pritchard And Pole Dancers

ANOTHER weekend of Britain’s Got Talent, and with it news of Thomas Herron, a five–year-old magician who “sings like a woman”.

Thomas performed a disappearing act set to the music of the Crazy Frog ring tone.

This is less of an act than it is a threat, a possibly alternative to water boarding. Press the button. Put him through. Disappear him. Poof! Next!

Here comes Shaun Smith, 17, who sings Aiiiiiiiiiiinnnn’t Nooooooooo Suuuuunshiiiiinnnne. When you’re gone.

Simon Cowell presses “3” on his automated phrase finder and delivers:

“I genuinely wasn’t expecting that.”

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know…

Press 2:

“You might well be the best singer we’ve ever had in this competitionzzzzzzzzzzz.”

Hark! It’s Falsetto singer Greg Pritchard, a 24-year-old hotel waiter singing BGT staple Nessun Dorma. Says Cowell:

“It was like a dog meowing. It just shouldn’t do that. But would I like a dog that meowed?”

If it made money, yes.

Next!

And next is a clutch/ snatch/ grid of pole dancers and what the Star calls “kinky dancers”.

The dancers ages are not give, but BGT is a family show and we imagine staff at the St Boyle Primary school are so very proud…

Susan Boyle

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