Big Brother’s Kris Donnelly Dates Russell Brand’s Rhian Sugden
IT’S “RANDY Kris Donnelly”, the man with the style of Russell Brand and the hair of Russell Grant.
News is that Kris (with a K) is dating Page 3 strumpet Rhian Sugden.
Pals say the sex-mad Kris has fallen for the blonde model-but won’t be able to resist leaping into the sack with a female housemate if he gets the chance. And they revealed that after he slept with his 100th woman, his pals burst into the bedroom with a celebration cake and card.
Kris is the kind of person who keeps count of women he has slept with. It’s pretty clear that Kris is in the house to enable a hundred women to come forward and tell the tabloids about their moment of passion.
A slow news day in the house can be enlivened with Bianca from Warrington telling us that Kris is hung like a badger; by Jayne of Basildon saying that Kris tried on her knickers; by Tiffany confiding that Kris insisted on her holding a mirror to his face the whole time they made magical love…
No calls as yet, so the NOTW interrupts the silence to say that Kris hasn’t shagged Michelle Keegan, Corrie’s Tina McIntyre, who was voted Sexiest Female at last month’s soap awards.
Kris, we can exclusively reveal, has also not shagged Angelina Jolie, EastEnders’ June Brown, Sophie Reade and more than 100 other women.
One woman who Kris has knowledge of is the aforesaid Rhian, who –get this – once went out with Russell Brand.
Kris, we learn, also does an impression of Ricky Gervais doing David Brent, his parody of a middle-ranking, delusional tosspot with no identity of his own who can quote entire scenes from Star Wars and Monty Python in a fruitless pursuit of getting people to laugh with him and not at him.
That’s Kris – whoever he is…
Posted: 7th, June 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
