Five Reasons Why Andy Murray Failed At Wimbledon
MURRAY Mount is routed by Andy Roddick. Andy Murray’s Wimblwdon bid is over. Where did it go wrong? Anorak delivers our Top Five Reasons Why Andy Murray Failed At Wimbledon:
Kipling Test
The doyennes of the All England Club failed to introduce their much-vaunted Kipling Test – can Roger Federer recite all the verses he passes on the walk from changing room to court?
The Blonde
With her long blonde hair, longer legs and over-sized sunglasses Andy Murray’s girlfriend is the ultimate in court-side chic. So says the Mail, which gives a heads up to cameramen looking to fill those frequent breaks in play and moments before and after a big point with a hot of a blonde. Kim Sears fits the bill. And if she can keep Murray lean and hungry his hope can only be increased.
Fail: She became slightly tanned and displyed brown-ish roots.
Murray Maniacs
The Murray Maniacs are a chippier, less HRT-fed lot than the Henmanics, Tim Henman’s band of sectioned supporters. But they do have one advantage: less letters means lee T-shirts and less time spent organising people to stand in line to spell out their hero’s name when the valuable minutes could be spent chanting. Murr-eeee fits neatly with the Timm-eeee call, but Anorak suggests a twist and shortening Murray to Muzz, so creating the Muzz Buzz, a slow hissing fizz that at moments of tension causes Federer to believe he is under attack from angry wasps.
Fail: Murray becgan to swat balls like a Highland walker swatting midges. Muzzzzzz.
The System
The failed introduction of the esoteric Duckworth Lewis System that made one-day cricket a lottery. With just a few games played, the onset of rain or failing light could see Federer needing to win 17 games in a row inside 34 minutes.
Fail: See roof
Scotland Expects
Hiring the Scottish football team to Train Murray, thus ensuring the Muzz never hits a ball into the net no matter how hard he tries.
Fail: Tained by Graham Taylor and so beaten by the Americans.
Posted: 4th, July 2009 | In: Sports Comments (4) | TrackBack | Permalink
