Candy Spelling Writes Tori Spelling Into Her Paris Hilton Sitcom
CANDY Spelling, widowed wife of Hollywood legend Aaron Spelling, is using the corporate gossip site TMZ to reach out to her daughter Tori Spelling – who remains famous for the most audacious acting performance of all time when she played the blonde everyone fancied in Beverly Hills 90210, a show produced by her dad.
Now Candy Spelling is writing another chapter in her own sitcom. Candy is a woman of letters. As 14 points out:
She accused Britney Spears of being “famous for hideous, irresponsible actions“, informed Paris Hilton that she’s not as entitled as her money implies, and called Joe Francis a “poster boy for what happens when boys go wild“. Joe Francis lonely old woman living in a mansion full of 300 cats jumping around in their own feces. didn’t take Candy’s advice lightly – he wrote back, speculating the she was a
The email begins:
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLINGI Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn’t match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it’s the same way with my daughter.
Maybe it’s genetic?
Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings. I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori’s, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter’s first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.
Cue music. Cue sideways glaces. Clue Lights.
Glaces? Always the glaces… Candy Spelling is a victim of… nominative determinism. Miss(is) Spelling goes on:
I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I’m sure its delivery will be on next week’s episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won’t like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.
Deeper sigh. Everything was a cliff hanger with Aaron. One episode or two? Will Joan Collins live? Will Prince Michael of Moldavia work again? Will Charlie be sued for sexual discrimination by Peter Stringfellow?
A big party wasn’t how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too…
Like your child. Now read on…
Spoiler alert. Don’t read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying “she’s late.” I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that i would not be attending.
Video? Candy… Where has she been? It’s Blue-ray now. At the very least it’s DVD. No self-respecting one-year-old would appear on a straight-to-video release, least of all Hollywood spawn. These are the kind of things a thirtysomething Stella Doreen McDermott will thanks her mother for when the book of the filmn of the childhood is published.
Candy concludes:
For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn’t get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings.
Although, if you have a decent agent or Word for Windows life can be edited. Candy ends her press release without a hint of irony:
You’re responsible for what you do. Life isn’t just a show. And your families can’t just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
Life is not a show and Candy manages to use TV metaphors to prove her point.
Image: 14
Posted: 26th, July 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
