All The Clues To Help Identify Katie Price’s Rapist

ANOTHER day and with it another clue in tracking down Katie Price’s celebrity rapist.

Rape victims of ordinary non-celebrity sex attackers need not be bitter.

They too can pore over the clues.

What we know so far is that Katie was raped a while ago, before she married pop acorn Peter Andre, and that the rapist is not just famous but “very famous”.

Now the star announces on its front page:

“Celeb who raped me has raped before.”

Is it Mike Tyson? Fatty Arbuckle? Ghengis Khan?

The name of Kate Price’s alleged celebrity rapist is circulating in showbiz circles as police prepare to swoop on her luxury mansion. But in an explosive live TV rant yesterday the glamour girl refused to co-operate with officers and says she will take the name to her grave.

Can she please write the name down on an implant and maybe stick it to her forehead. That way, we can all find out the rapist’s identity by peering through the Swarovski Crystal coffin.

Katie is speaking about her ordeal on Channel Five’s The Wright Stuff, an interesting choice of show because it was Matthew Wright who accidentally named television presenter John Leslie as the celebrity Ulrika Jonsson had been referring to when she claimed she had been raped. What are the odds?

Says Katie:

“It come out in the newspapers that he [Alex Reid: lover] was doing this rape thing and I stuck up for him in my OK! column. I would never do something like that for sympathy… I am a victim. It was definitely rape, I didn’t consent to it. I am absolutely livid. I don’t make a joke about it – it is a serious matter.”

Katie is not actually on the show. Katie is phoning in:

When channel Five’s The Wright Stuff began debating the rape story yesterday, Price herself put in a call to the host Matthew Wright. “The press have gone on and on about it,” she complained. “I’m absolutely livid, they dig and dig and dig.” Never mind the fact that she herself gave the story to OK!…

It’s all serious enough for a, er, “Child Protection expert” called Mark Williams Thomas to opine in the Star:

“If Jordan was raped then she has a duty to report it for every victim of sexual abuse.”

Not everyone get a very famous celebrity rapist, some, as we’ve said only get to be attacked by normal ones, many not all that photogenic; some rapists haven’t even been on the telly.

Says Katie:

“To be honest it happened to me before, when I was a lot younger, and it was a lot more worse than this one. I don’t want to go into it. I take it on the chin.”

Which given her dimensions, is understandable. And there are more clues in the Mail:

Sources have revealed that the ordeal took place at a party in London’s West End before she met and married ex-husband Peter Andre. The couple are thought to have been on secret dates and ‘got on well’ before the alleged attack.

And more clues in the Mirror, which screams from its front page: “I DIDN’T RAPE JORDAN.” There’s a silhouette os a head. The figure has hair that he/she parts on the left. HJe/she is not eating , nor smoking, nor holding a microphone.

The celebrity thought to be at the centre of the rape claim angrily denied he had anything to do with Jordan’s attack.
When approached by the Mirror at his home, he said: “Why are you asking me? It’s got nothing to do with me.” The Mirror knows the identity of the man but can’t name him for legal reasons.

The Mirror knows the identity of a man whom Katie Price might be referring to when she claims to have been raped.

Oh, go on, do tell. Surely someone needs the publicity..?