Nine Year-Old Schoolboy Turns Into A Girl

AFTER the shock news that a 12-year-old boy had returned to school from summer holidays wearing yellow ribbons in longer hair, had a girls name and had caused one parent to complain, the Mirror delivers:

“NOW BOY 9 IS A GIRL.”

This is what happens when you holiday in a French camp site, mums and dads, or let kids swallow swimming pool water. This is Sissy Watch, and the Sun pushes the Mirror over in the playground and yells:

Classmates of the nine-year-old sex-change boy were told he had left and been replaced by a girl. The pupil returned to school the next day – in female uniform, with long hair in a ponytail, tied in pink ribbon.

Pink ribbon. Yesterday’s boy-turned-girl wore a yellow ribbon. The sex change operation is adaptable. And there’s one unhappy mum willing to talk to the press:

One concerned mum said: “My son came home from school and asked why one of his friends had become a girl. I thought he was joking, but he kept asking – that’s when alarm bells began ringing. The pupil’s classmates were told he had left and that a new girl would be starting in his place this term.”

And then this:

The Year Five children were told of what is believed to be Britain’s youngest gender swap at the end of their first day back after the summer break.

Yesterday, the 12-year-old was Britain’s youngest gender swap, an operation that home surgeons can enact with ribbons, a pleated skirt and a Hello Kitty pencil topper. And a cunning plan:

As the meeting progressed, staff seemed to acknowledge that the “new” pupil might be recognised by classmates. The kids were told to call the pupil by a new name – which had been taped to a classroom peg.

The name badges! Of course. A few well-placed stickers and a name badge in your knickers and the sex change operation is complete. The worried mum has not been taken in by the disguise and change of identity. Marathon Mum is still talking.

“My son is too young to really understand the significance of what’s happening. It’s hard to explain to him. He doesn’t understand the differences between girls’ and boys’ bodies yet. I’m terrified he’ll ask me if he can become a girl as well.”

Why not reach a compromise with young Leslie and pass him off as a Scots nationalist in a smart pleated tartan kilt and garters.

If he still wants to be a girl when he’s older, enter him for the World Athletics Championships and let the IAAF work it out. Or let him wear boob tubes and hot pants and see if Aussie Rules is his thing. Or let him make pots with Grayson Perry…