Jedward Do The X Factor: The Most Amazing Things About John & Edward Mania
X FACTOR Watch – Jedward special: Simon Cowell fixed it for Jedward, Halloween and bust, swine flu, Robbie Williams supports, Noel Gallagher cheers, JLS are on message, Danyl Johnson votes John & Edward, the look-alikes and Jedward sing YMCA…
ON the front pages of the Mirror, Sun and Star, each time dressed as vampires ready to administer a love bite to anyone close enough, and so create another Jedward clone, the brothers Grimes introduce Halloween.
The Mirror: “X Factor twins John and Edward Grimes may be too sick to perform”
The sick so-and-sos. What they gone and done now?
Simon Cowell’s prayers could be answered – terrible twins John and Edward have been SILENCED by raging sore throats.
If they can’t sing, John & Edward get a pass through to the next round. Happily, Queen’s We Will Rock You is along with YMCA the world’s big semaphore hit and John & Edward can still perform with camping and foot stamping while stood on a large rock.
But the Brothers Grimes are now bona fide celebrities and a sore throat is not enough. As stars they demands more:
THE X Factor twins have been struck down with “flu-like” symptoms – just 24 hours after The Sun revealed the pair were at risk from swine flu.
Belfast Telegraph: “X Factor: Would you vote for the Grimes brothers?”
At his BBC Electric Proms performance last week Robbie stunned the crowd when he told them: “Go for the twins. John and Edward all the way.”
Well, if you can’t stun the crowd with your singing your new song that sounds like a composite blend of your own song with lyrics penned by an angst-riddled teenager, knock them bandy with something else.
And it’s not only Robbie Williams who likes Jedward:
Last year’s X Factor runners-up JLS have also given them the thumbs up, and even Noel Gallagher is reported to be behind them.
You imagine X Factor runners-up JLS like them because it reflects well on them to support a special needs act, and Noel Gallagher likes them because it’s pretty much what Simon Cowell’s pop factory deserves.
X Factor favourite Danyl Johnson, who is being mentored by their nemesis Simon Cowell, has revealed that he’s been voting to keep the twins in.
Danyl Johnson is so desperate to be likes he votes for John & Edward and then let’s this fact be know to the world at large. Others need John & Edward to remind the rest of us that they exist:
And John and Edward have also won the support of Big Brother reject Becky Shiner, who waited outside the X Factor house for hours to see them.
And to be seen.
The Guardian: “X Factor twins John and Edward pin victory hope on talent for publicity”
Simon Cowell described them as “vile little creatures who would step on their mother’s head to have a hit” and vowed to leave the country and sulk for six months if they won. Cheryl Cole said they could neither sing nor dance (“fact”) and more than 181,000 people joined a Facebook hate group in their name.
Hundreds of journalists quite about them.
“It’s been Jedward mania this week,” said Sam Delaney, the editor of Heat. “We’ve hit the tipping point. It’s up there with Bros mania, or Take That at their peak.” Delaney said the rise of JedwoodJohn and Edward mirrored the ascent of another upwardly mobile public figure. “There are parallels here with David Cameron,” he said. “People started off loathing him, then they started mocking him and then one day we woke up and thought: ‘Jesus Christ, he could actually win this.'”
Surely he thought, “Simon Cowell, he could actually win this.” Cowell is bigger. Right, Max:
Publicist Max Clifford believed people were voting to wind up Cowell. “The more Simon speaks out about them the way he does, the better it gets for them.”
The more media space they get the more people are familiar with them and the more likely they are to vote for them. Simon Cowell! John & Edward are Nick Griffin set to music!
But wait a moment. What’s this?
The Sun: “Simon loves Jedward”
SIMON Cowell secretly loves X Factor twins John and Edward Grimes and hatched a plot to turn them into megastars FOUR MONTHS ago, The Sun can reveal.
What’s this? The voting public is being duped? Louis and Simon are in this together!
Westlife’s Shane Filan said Simon and Louis showed footage of the boys to him and his bandmates in June, declaring: “They’re going to be massive.” And he said Simon knows the duo will have a big TV career even if they flop as pop stars.
Shane, 30, whose band is managed by Louis, the twins’ mentor, said: “We went with Louis to Simon’s house in LA and they took us to a room with a cinema and said, ‘We want to play you something.’ They played us John and Edward and Simon said, ‘They’re going to be massive.’ We were like, ‘Oh my god, they’ve gone crazy!’ It was when they did their first audition and they were asked where they’d be in ten years’ time and they were like, ‘We’re gonna be a bit older.’ And Simon said, ‘These are going to make it in the final 12.’
So it’s a fix. Cowell and Walsh are in an elite club of two that sets the agenda as to who wins their TV show. And you trust the Sun to bring you the facts:
The Sun told this week how the twins scored the highest vote on last weekend’s show, while Simon’s act Danyl finished in the bottom two.
Only they didn’t. Rachel did. John & Edward came nearer the bottom than the top. Is the Sun in on this conspiracy to promote Jedward?
Irish Times: “The public’s guilty pleasure”
You can hear the editor screaming: “Get me a few hundred words on Jedward fast. A writer gets to work:
WE ARE ALWAYS more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess than to be praised for the 15 which we do possess.” Clearly, Mark Twain wasn’t an X Factor devotee, but his words are cannily spot-on when it comes to Dublin twins John and Edward Grimes. Talent – in musical terms anyway – doesn’t ooze from their collective pores, and some critics question whether they have any skills at all, let alone 15 of them.
Spot on, then. One thing we can agree on, and the writer can agree with himself on is this:
Cringey? Yes. Camp? Certainly. But it was so damn watchable, even if you had to peek through your fingers.
To win the show, Jedward need to be as awful as possible. Anorak has produced their playlist to ensure success. And do look at their look-alike gallery – your suggestions please…
Posted: 31st, October 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink
