I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Sacks Katie Price
THE year is now divided into TV shows: And November means I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here!, staring Katie Price in the sack and out of a bikini.
While the BBC’s care home-focused non-dancing dance show Strictly Come Dancing – does anyone allowed to operate the remote control watch it? – ITV follows the X Factor with another hit.
The show features the following celebrities, who would once have been called “personalities” and before that “VIPs”:
George Hamilton – Does the Hollywood legends know the sun cannot reach the jungle floor? Big risk that his tan might suffer. Expects a deep mahogany giving way to light maple as the show progresses.
Sam Fox – Former Page 3 stunna, and early victim of nominative determinism. Fox by name, Fox by nature. Now looks a bit like Shakin’ Stevns crossed with Sarah Jessica Parker in Letitia Dean’s wig. Says: “Of course you’ll see me under the waterfall in my bikini. I’m really proud of my body.” And we’re proud of you, Sam.
Gina D’Acampo – Stereotypical Italian daytime TV chef. Chances of winning: Nil. Chances of waving arms about and saying “mama mia”: Dead cert.
Camilla Dallerup – From Strictly Come Dancing celebrity prop to genuine celebrity. Camilla is tall and blonde. Camilla by names, Princess Diana by legs. Should do well.
Jimmy White – Anorak all-time hero. Hours upon hours of misspent youth watching Sir James – The Whirlwind – White pot balls and then choke like a fat man swallowing a whole marrow when it mattered. Tan factor: Ghostly White.
Lucy Benjamin – Former short marker inspector in EastEnders. She shots Phil Mitchell. And no-one cared. Gino’s main love interest, mama mia, tutti-frutti.
Kim Woodburn – One half of the top TV cleaning duo, Kim will keep the camp shipshape and – with Sam Fox around – in Bristols fashion. Looks a bit like Amy Winehouse’s dad Mitch.
Colin McAllister – Straighter man to Justin Ryan’s camp snark. The telly designers will look to camp up the camp with some camp songs, camp walks and camp games. Look out for rows with lesbian Sam Fox.
Sabrina Washington – Who is she? The press release says she used to be in Misteeq with Alesha Dixon. Some say she is George Washington’s descendent and finds it impossible to tell a lie. Look of lots of straight talking and rows legitimised by the phrase “I’m just being honest” and “You’ve got to true to yourself”.
Stuart Manning – Er…? No idea so let’s just say he’s in Hollyoaks.
But of course, the big news is that Katie Price is flashing her Jordans in the jungle once more. Jordan of the Jungle is already causing a row as the Star says, “Stars gang up on bush babe” and “KATE IN FOR BUSH BASHING”.
Expect others to drop into the jungle – including anyone of Katie’s future former husbands – see them all here.
Posted: 12th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts Comments (14) | TrackBack | Permalink
