Ten Reasons Why Thierry Henry Did It

WANT to know why France captain Thierry Henry used his hand to score a goal in game of FOOTball against Ireland? We bring you the Top Ten Theories:

1. C’est La France

He was shrugging. At the moment of impact (1). Henry was thinking about existentialism and the modern man. He asked himself a question and answered it in traditional fashion, with a Gallic shrug. Henry then responded to his own answer to his own question with a second shrug (2).

2. For Culture

Henry knew that Ireland would not win the World Cup. The likelihood of them being robbed in South Africa while literally high was on the field only a remote hope. Henry sought to give the Irish something to feel aggrieved and, therefore, inspired about for four years of drinking, poetry and song.

3. For England

“I don’t cheat. I don’t have a bad reputation in England…” So said Thierry Henry. He still doesn’t have a bad reputation in England, particularly those places where hardcore Loyalists hang out where he is revered.

4. The Anatomical Dyslexic

Was it his hand? At the the 2006 World Cup Finals, Henry was struck in the chest by Spain’s Carlos Puyol. Henry held his face. Did he use his hand to beat Ireland? No, says Henry. It was my big toe, n’est pas.

5. Numero Uno

Playing in Paris, Henry saw a chance to reintroduce the death of Princess Diana to the fore. Mirror. Hand signal. Manoeuvre. It’s the Henry mantra. It’s the French mantra.

6. Maradona

FAI chief John Delaney asks of Henry: