Tiger Woods: After Grubbs, Uchitel, Moquin And Jungers Meet Mindy Lawton
TIGER Woods and the women – those linked to the golfer – now numbers a back nine. Meet Mindy Lawton. After Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers and Rachel Uchitel – who didn’t sleep with Woods but is, reportedly in line for a huge pay out to make up for being cruelly overlooked – here’s Mindy Lawton claiming a “year-long affair” with the golfer.
Mindy is billed as a “waitress”. Woods seems to have thing for waitresses. Here’s the tip jar. Give generously. Mindy Lawton says Woods breakfasts on “white egg omelette with broccoli and orange juice.” Put a tiger in your tank with a real man’s breakfast.
Mindy Lawton is pictured wearing red dress and narrowing her eyes to the camera. The desired effect, one imagines, is to make her look like a femme fatale. It fails. Mindy Lawton looks more like Little Mo Slater after a heavy night. And she says:
“Sometimes I looked like a rag doll after we’d made love. He really did like it quite rough.”
Boom! Boom! mindy says tiger is “well endowed”. And we bet he has a decent pension, too:
“He wanted to spank me and loved pulling my hair as we had sex. He also liked me to talk dirty to him, but hair-pulling was what really turned him on.”
Very soon crazy golf course will be modelled on Wood’s love life, a hole for every alleged conquest. Grubbs’ hole can look like a jaw flapping up and down; Lawton’s can be a head tossing back and forth, the golfer trying to strike the ball hard enough to make her head hit a board and cause a sign to light up.
“I realise now all he wanted me for was sex. The only time he would call was when he wanted it. Tiger just used me as his sex toy. I thought I meant something to him, but all he cared about was lust. He is a selfish, heartless man.”
So says the waitress who, allegedly, shagged the married billionaire and then took her story to the press. Tiger is so selfish.
Lest readers get bored with yet another waitress claiming to have had sex with Tiger Woods, we get a score:
“He has a very strong sex drive and knows his way around the bedroom. On a scale of ten I would give him 12.”
Jaimee Grubbs said Woods was rubbish in bed. Woods can’t please everyone. Lawton now delivers an insight hat we can all enjoy:
As well as the hall there was the TV room, shower, living room and even the garage. Recalling one occassion, Mindy said: “The electric doors had just closed when Tiger grabbed me and began tearing my clothes off. There was a golf cart and a set of clubs but very little else.
“I remember thinking how clean it was for a garage…
“Tiger has a huge TV in his living room.”
There is something for everyone in this story: golf fans get to see their sport on the front pages; voyeurs can peek about his house; perverts get to read about sex in the show; and psychiatrists get this:
“His favourite were my red panties with black lace. He had a thing about red and said he always wore it on Friday as that was his mother’s favourite colour.”
Which is why Mindy Lawton is in a red dress – to remind Tiger Woods of his mother…
Posted: 6th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
