Jade Goody Stars In Pantomime And Jack Tweed’s ‘Playboy’ Message
DAY Three of the tabloids’ Christmas Without Jade. Having seen Widow Hanky (Jackiey Budden) at her daughter’s graveside, heard from Buttons (Jeff Brazier) and experienced the Babes in the Woodford’s message to mum and her new best mate Michael Jackson, time to introduce Jack Tweed, aka Dickhead Whittington.
Jack is the Guardian’s “club promoter” pleading not guilty to two counts of rape related to an alleged attack on young woman in his London home, and the Star’s “troubled playboy” giving his dear old mum a card to deliver to Jade Goody’s resting place on Christmas Day.
“To my darling wife Jade, you are always in my thoughts and heart and I miss you more and more every day.”
The card’s typed message read: “My heart belongs to you forever and always. Sending you all my love at Christmas time”.
And he signed off by saying: “My love always Jack.”
A question for you readers before you and your carpet are overtaken by an upsurge of Christmas spirit, pudding and chocolate-coated salmon: Does the Star go about reading private correspondence to the deceased as routine?
We see Jack’s mum laying a wreath of hearts at Jade’s grave. The cameramen, now set in stone by the Jade grave as mummified totems to her fame, snap away. And then the card is produced in full. Either Mum Tweed presents the card to the Star for publication or else the Star picks up the card left by a grave and photograph the private message within for broadcast.
Meanwhile, the tabloids gear up for New Year’s Eve at Jade Grave, with lots of party poppers, alcopops and a performance of the Nutcracker Suite in which a huge toy Jade comes back to life and is ritually abused and then chucked on a warming fire.
It being what she would have wanted. (“Oh yes she would… Etc.)
Posted: 28th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
