The Five Worst Disaster Charity Records Ever
DISASTER records can be just that: disasters. Sure, the grandstanding is all part of the show, but so long as you give to the needy who cares that “nation’s sweetheart” Cheryl Cole gets to record another No.1 and tell us of her sorrow. What Band Aid did with style, credibility and grace, others do with pragmatism. Does Haiti deserve Simon Cowell? Does Simon Cowell deserve Haiti? We now present the worst/most mawkish/ opportunistic and downright terrible disaster relief records ever:
Voices That Care
A song intended to help boost the morale of U.S. troops involved in Operation Desert Storm, featuring such peacenicks as: Stephen Seagal, Celine Dion, Luther Vandross, Gary Busey Harry Hamlin Kenny G Don King, Fred Savage, Magic Johnson, Chevy Chase, Mike Tyson and Jean-Claude Van Damme…
Everybody Hurts
An earthquake in Haiti. Prime Minister Gordon Brown stands strong and asks Simon Cowell to sort out a song for the dispossessed. Brown waives VAT on the single, which is good of us, and R.E.M. agree to waive all royalties. Featuring: Leona Lewis, Cheryl Cole, Joe McElderry, Alexandra Burke, Susan Boyle, Aston Merrygold and Marvin Humes of JLS. All managed by Cowell.
The Gift of Christmas
It’s 1995 and Esther Rantzen has a dream to create the most objectionable group ever. Can she do it? Can the Childliners be huge? Featuring: East 17, MN8, Peter Andre, West End, the Flood, Sean Maguire, Ultimate Kaos, The Nightcrawlers, Dannii Minogue, Boyzone and Michelle Gayle. The video is golden:
I Am In Love With The World
In 1997, something called the Chicken Shed sang for The Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fund. Diana was into thrash metal. But no matter. She got to smile and look caring over lyrics like:
I am in love with the world
With its fires and its seas and its pain
I am in love with the world
As it spins round my soul again
Mawkish, syrupy, sentimetnal and showy – Diana:
Come Outside
In 1991, Bruno Brookes was big. Brookes teams up with Liz Kershaw, Samantha Fox and Frank Bruno to create an anthem for Children in Need. It’s Children In Need…of a song:
Bonus Track – Let It Be – Ferry Aid
The Beatles cover was released following the 1987 Zeebrugge Disaster, in which 193 passengers and crew on the MS Herald of Free Enterprise ferry. Featuring: Pepsi & Shirlie, Mel and Kim ,Jaki Graham, Mandy Smith and Su Pollard.
Posted: 3rd, February 2010 | In: Key Posts, Reviews Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
