Britain’s Got Talent: Janey Cutler Might Be Susan Boyle

BRITAIN’S Got Talent looms and we get to meet Janey Cutler, billed as this year’s Susan Boyle.

In the tabloids, Britain’s Go Talent is a chance for ugly people to do well. We don’t mean ugly as in grotesque, just ugly as in Unlikely Gods Like Yourself (TM).

While the X Factor positions lip-synching Cheryl Cole – with a conviction for assault; neck tattoo and shaggability – as the nation’s sweetheart, the X Factor resident babe is eyebrow wrangler Amanda Holden. Holden is hard-to-like. But unlike Cole who looks out of reach for watching dads and sticky finger adolescents, the former Mrs Les Dennis seems within reach, the tarty office secretary who might at the Christmas party.

Back to Janey Cutler, the 81-year-old, from Wishaw, Lanarkshire, doing her thing at the Britain’s Got Talent auditions in Glasgow.

The NoTW says Janey is “plucky” and a “frail widow”. Who later on in the sun’s piece becomes a smoking “twice-widowed mum-of- six”. How frail to you want her to be?
Belts out Edith Piaf’s Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien. Piers Morgan calls it “astonishing” and “spine-tingling”.

Janey is said to live on her own with her “beloved dog Tara”.

So. All hail the new SuBo. Or J’aCuse, as Piaf would have wanted it…