Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Marry And Jennifer Aniston Finds That Nail

JENNIFER Aniston is in “agony”. And Angelina Jolie is marrying Brad Pitt. The Enquirer’s front page hints at these two shockers being related.

When we first read it we supposed Gerard Butler had lost a finger nail up Aniston’s crevice. But inside the magazine in the know we find out that Aniston is set to have her heart broken by Brad marrying Angelina.

It turns out that Aniston’s heart was not broken by Brad Pitt dumping her, divorcing her and then – oh, yes, reader – only then shagging Angelina Jolie and touring the globe as a divine force of good.

Aniston’s heart is still not broken. But it will be this summer when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt – who have “fallen in love …all over again” – walk down a aisle in Westminster Abbey, the Vatican, the Blue Mosque, by the Wailing Wall and in the clouds to join as one.

Unless the NoTW wins its libel case against Brangelina and the Enquirer can get back to doing what it does best: talking about when Brad and Ange will split…

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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt during the premiere of the new movie from The Weinstein Company "Inglourious Basterds", held at Grauman's Chinese Theatre, Los Angeles

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Posted: 27th, April 2010 | In: National Enquirer Comments (15) | TrackBack | Permalink