Olympic Guide Advises Britons To Check Before ‘Paki’ Bashing
VISITBritain has published guidelines to teach Britishers that those foreigners are not necessarily diseases-infested asylum seeking jihadis with thieving gypsy paedo blood. They might be athletics fans here for the summer games of London 2012. Who knew?
The guide is specific.
When meeting a Mexican, know that they can be swarthy and it is best you wait before calling them a ‘Paki’ and trying to kick their head in, as is the local custom. The advice is to avoid discussing “poverty, illegal immigrants, earthquakes or the Mexican-American war of 1846-48”. Safe subjects are Speedy Gonzalez, the ‘runs’ and donkey sex.
When meeting an Indian resist asking for two lamb bhunas and 23 poppadoms. Most Indians have no idea what you are talking about and it is best you save your order for Bangladeshis.
Be tolerant if Indians at first seem impolite, noisy and impatient. This is partly the result of living in chaotic cities and environments.
Belgium:
On no account snap your fingers at a Belgium, who considers such thing impolite.
Also avoid Jazz Hands.
On Argentina the advice is magical:
Pouring wine backwards into a glass indicates hostility.
Pouring wine backwards indicates you don’t like it or else you have devilish ways.
Don’t be offended by Argentinian humour, which may mildly attack your clothing or weight.
You man like the Daily Mail does every day?
Other nations:
CHINA:
Avoid saying ‘thank you’ to a compliment. Instead, politely deny it to show humility. If you compliment a Chinese person, expect a denial.
You: “Well done on killing all those people in Beijing and getting away with it.”
Chinese tourists: “Oh, you’re too kind.”
JAPAN:
A smiling Japanese person is not necessarily happy. They tend to smile when angry, embarrassed, sad or disappointed.
When sad or disappointed they tend to cry, frown or look “upset”.
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES:
Arabs are not used to being told what to do. Visitors from the UAE can take great offence if you appear bossy. They appreciate being looked after by staff who understand Arab culture.
You’ll never sell them the Olympics if you piss them off. Think on.
Posted: 12th, August 2010 | In: Sports Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
