X Factor 2010: Cheryl Cole Tucks Her Sex Into Susan Boyle’s Hairy Knickers
X FACTOR 2010: highlights from the Week 3 results show:
Cheryl Cole mimes a musical version of hearing aide beige. She’s not singing live – the performance was recorded an hour earlier. That’s much like Susan Boyle did on America’s Got Talent. But while Susan was attacked for not being able to hack it as she sang a slow version of the Rolling Stones’ track Wild Horses, Cheryl is a national treasure for miming to every 1980s Euro pop song you heard all at once.
The key difference between them is that Cheryl forgets to pull her skirt back down over her stockings and gives her primary sexual characteristics an airing. Susan relies on her voice and an aura of sexual mystery.
Dermot O’Leary and Michael Buble dress like their on a themed Stag Night in a venue on the Essex/Hertfordshire borders.
The agonists untied to sing the Cee-Lo Green’s Fuck You. Only, they sing the cleaned up version called Forget You and replace “shit” with “shhh”. Without the fun swearing the Motown-style song is just nostalgic, muted and mundane.
John is kicked off the show. He has better voice than (David) Belle Amie – all of them – Aiden Grimshaw, Wagner and Cher Lloyd. But his voice is so bland it could be, well, Cheryl Cole. And we’ve already got one of them.
Ends. More X Factor next week…
Posted: 25th, October 2010 | In: TV & Radio Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink
