Kate Middleton Will Be The Next People’s Princess (If She Shags Around And Forgets Her Seatbelt)

KATE Middleton and Prince William are to be married and the papers and news media are falling over themselves to cobble together the story to fill the need. But it’s hats off to the Daily Express for pressing f9 on the keyboard and conjuring up:

WHEN Kate Middleton marries into the Royal Family she will be following in Diana’s footsteps but does she have the potential to be the next People’s Princess?

God we hope so. But the Express must be hoping more than all of us. Fingers crossed for that paper’s survival that Katie doesn’t put on her seatbelt, has extra-marital sex and sticks her hair in a bun and her **** in a toaster.

It’s what Diana would have wanted. And Diana, the divine creature who descended to Earth on the gossamer wings of angles to shop like no woman had ever shopped before her. Diana was…

Repeat forever…